Couples who are too far apart

I was listening to a radio programme yesterday afternoon on my way to conduct a rehearsal session in Kingston. When this man called in to the family counselor to explain how frustrating his family life was becoming. He said that his wife had little or no regard for all the rules they had laid down for their seven year old son. He went on to further explain that whenever he commented, he would be greeted with disrespect or even avoided for days. He explained several other disheartening experiences in public places and was now contemplating leaving so she could do whatever she wants, whenever she wants.

In a love relationship it is very important that partners are connected, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually as well as share similar interest; shared goals that they can both work towards. You would be so surprise how many people go out in search of a partner without taking into consideration some of these vital ingredients to mix.

The further apart a couple is from each other, the more conflicts they will have. The gap which exists isn’t necessarily caused by poor communication. It could be as a result of any of the three connecting areas mentioned above or other interests or even past experiences.
Case in point, there are some married couples who do struggle with issues which they themselves did not create. Their marriage is threatened by the absence of fundamental principles that were also missing during their growing up years.

All relationships have conflicts of some sort, however the further a part they are, the deeper ‘the abyss of disagreement.’ It is just the way life is. The closer I am to GOD, the more I will want to please him, the more I understand what he likes and want. The more I understand the people around me the better I am able to deal with each individual. But all this must be embodied in a WILLINGNESS to make it work.

In the case of the husband mentioned at the start. Perhaps his wife was always disrespectful to her father or maybe there was no father figure in her life at all, no real man. It therefore becomes even more difficult for her to deal with her very own husband. The Counselor was apt in making the distinction that this was not a parenting issue but a marriage issue.

Life can be like that at times, where a problem has a tendency to create many other off-shoots, thus having a spiral effect. Misery loves misery they say.
It will therefore take wisdom and patience to decipher what the real problem. Quite often this is the case after the person has already exploded.

I have got my share of issues in dealing with others, you’ve got yours. Some relationship issues remain despite the vast improvement in knowledge and advancement in technology. We have just not been able to master the art of dealing with people. People must begin to see the need to act responsible. If we plant seeds of discord, then we will certainly reap the fruits of disharmony, disunity and relationship woes. Is it any wonder than those who live the best life are those who give the most and expect the least? Certainly not, if I learn to serve without servitude, then I have more influence both over my own life and those whom I serve. If we can’t get along it could mean that we are too far a part, come a little closer.

Ripe Bananas are always sweet

When you are ripe and have come to full term with whatever it is that you need to mature in, it is then and only then that you will take on new sweetness, new skin and new purpose. The maturing process takes you on a natural path which when you have completed it, you bring sweetness to those around you.

Copy right (c) 2008 J.D. Gordon . All rights reserved

You are deserving of love

It doesn’t matter who you are, what you’ve done or where you’ve been.
You are deserving of love. Have you ever noticed that regardless of how bad we think someone is, they are always still able to find someone who loves them?
That’s a fact.

You are both lovable and loved. Love is the answer to many problems which science and technology, law, business and economics will never solve. Some of the meanness people at times are those who are shouting and ranting just to be included in our love net. The sooner we recognise this then the quicker they will be delivered from their life of spitefulness.

We all have a propensity to seek attention throughout our life. Usually this is attention we think we need to make it. Attention we consider essential to our survival. Perhaps they are, perhaps they aren’t. We are all deserving of love, but we do not at all deserve to be loved by any and everyone. Some people’s ‘love’ is worth running away from while others are worth running to.

You are deserving of love regardless of who you are.

Being Chased by a dog

Greatness is ahead...Could it be that through all my frustrations, my disappointments and struggles, what I thought was a dog chasing me is actually me being chased into my destiny?

Curiosity

How much of what you do on a daily basis are done out of curiosity?

Humans and animals are species that are driven by curiosity.

Our curiosity usually takes us on a journey of desires:

1. A desire to know or learn.
2. A desire to know about people or things that do not concern one; nosiness.
3. An object that arouses interest, as by being novel or extraordinary.


There are many who seek answers and are curious. Scientist doing a research, lawyers and detectives investigating, boys with girls, parent and child and the list go on and on.

At what point is your curiosity antennae most alert?
Curiosity is like a never quenching thirst, which is rarely satisfied.

Frank Moore said:
“Clever people seem not to feel the natural pleasure of bewilderment, and are always answering questions when the chief relish of a life is to go on asking them.”

Even though we often hear that Jamaicans are ‘faase’, i.e. nosy;
Not every one of us enjoys sticking our nose in other people business.

Curiosity isn’t a bad thing. In fact we discover great joys through our curiosity.
I am curious about people, places, things, philosophy, God, music and life.
I am curious to know, what is it that you are curious about?

Romantic Music

A Hero's Plight

Today we will celebrate our National Heroes throughout the island of Jamaica.

Our heroes are those who break the law, the rule and the standards while making way for bigger, better laws, rules and standards. They serve a greater purpose and a higher calling.

Mind weaving - Cogitation

Sometimes I wish I could just…

Especially since I desire it so much

So maybe I ought to…

But I have to always keep my thoughts…

I cannot allow my mouth to just…

But then I remember I must not…

Only this minute I think I ought to have…

Why can’t I just...

No one really cares about me so I should just…

The offer is good but I ought to perhaps…

Did I make the right choice?

What if what if were to happen?

I don’t want a repeat so perchance I should…

When the self speaks to the self…

When your mind looks into your mind…

The World's Greatest Need

The World's Greatest Need By C. Austin Miles

A little more kindness and a little less greed;

A little more giving and a little less need;

A little more smile and a little less frown;

A little less kicking a man when he's down;

A little more "we" and a little less "I";

A little more laughs and a little less cry;

A little more flowers on the pathway of life;

And fewer on graves at the end of the strife.

Facing my world alone

Oftentimes I feel like an island in the sea
Especially when the storm waves are high
And there is no bright cloud in the sky.

We struggle with issues, prejudice, insecurities and fears.
We feel our friends are only people who we call friends
Whenever they have needs we care enough to meet.

There will always come a point in our lives
When we must face our world alone,
It happens to me, it happens to you too
So, we must find inner strength and the will

The will to accept and resist
The wisdom to know when to yield and when to persist
The strength to overcome our strength’s weakness

Find ways to quicken and awake our spirit’s fire
For in the garden of Gethsemane it could be horrific
We must be strong, be confident and be caring and eternally forgiving

What gets you excited?

What gets your heart pumping and your adrenaline running?
Is it gardening, love, sex, money?

I find that I am not excited by the average exciters as my peers such as fast car, fancy clothing and name brands. I find that what really excites me are the smaller things in life. The kinds that are often times overlooked.

I am excited by good, skillfully played music; Music which gives life, anointed music.

I am moved by nature, a good sunset or breath taking sunrise.

I love knowledge and profound words

I am excited by love and friendship; meeting people and learning about their life.

I am also excited about traveling.

I am excited about God and 'God-name brands'.

Everyone should find something to do that they love; something which is non-threatening and pure.

I find that those who have enough things in their life to be excited about are among the happiest and most fulfilled people in the world.

What excites you?
What are you passionate about?

Do you need some yellow in your life?

Yellow symbolizes: wisdom, joy, happiness, intellectual energy

Yellow is full of creative and intellectual energy. Clean light yellow clears the mind, making it active and alert.

Put some yellow in your life when you want:
· clarity for decision-making
· relief from 'burnout', panic, nervousness, exhaustion
· sharper memory and concentration skills
· protection from lethargy and depression during dull weather

Temptations

Temptations are banging at my door. I want it to remain that way, cause if I least entertain it then it becomes an opportunity, and opportunities knock. Like many others, I am more likely to respond favorably to knocking than banging.

Copy right (c) 2008 J.D. Gordon. All rights reserved

No sooner than...

No sooner than I realized that I was standing in the way of my own success
No sooner I succeeded

~~~~

No sooner than I learnt that those who are impatient needs my patience the most
No sooner I became more patient with others

~~~~

No sooner than I quit making excuses for why some things just don’t work
No sooner I started resolving problems once thought ‘impossible’

~~~~

No sooner than I appreciated that whatever we need we will find it difficult to give
No sooner I tapped into a higher dimension of satisfaction by giving what I needed

~~~~

No sooner than I learnt that the best leaders are the best servants
No sooner I led others to discovering greater purpose and meaning

~~~~~

No sooner than I acknowledged my Heavenly Father is not uncaring towards my needs
No sooner I laid my worries down, while on my knees

~~~~

No sooner than I believed it could work
No sooner did it happened

~~~~

Dare to think aloud

Those who write with all their might
Displaying cunning, cogent insight
Prolific words which reveals the heart, the soul
And everything on which they hold

We choose to write,
To think audibly and bring to light
We have taken the great leap
To attain new heights and explore the deep

Dare to think aloud
Be brave, going against your cloud
Inscribing and carving
What others have in hiding

Creative imagery,
Wild literacy
Stand out amongst the crowd
Dare to WOL (write out loud)
Thinking allowed, dare to think aloud

People, problem & solution

I have an attitude where I am more solution oriented than problem hunting. I try not to dwell on the bad or wrong while allowing room for more bad to be done. I am amazed at what is happening around me with our Government and people.

The situation is this. We are having some serious crisis facing us as a nation and rather than persons lending their voice to help with a plausible solution, most persons are using their energy to express what they don’t agree with, declare what will not work and most of them have no alternate recommendations. How sad…

I am amazed that even with so many learnt men and women; they have still not been able to pass this hurdle.
Wisdom really does come from God. Some people just love to talk, but they will never offer a hand to help someone in need or even to make a suggestion to someone who is going astray and desperately need to find their way.

We need more people who are more determined to fix problems than to create new ones. Take a look at the passion and determination that those who are involve in evil have. They got the extreme to perform their wicked acts. But, imagine what our lives would be like if we all used our knowledge, abilities, wisdom and resources for the good and better of us all rather than serving individual agendas. What a world that would be.

The selfish side of HELP

When we offer to help someone, is it ok to have a condition attached?
“I will do it for you, if you do this for me in return”
Would that constitute selfish help?

If in offering help I place more emphasis on my interest over and above a desire to help another and to see the other person benefit, is that selfish help?

I have noticed that some people only do things if it benefits them some way or another. There are some who believe nothing is actually wrong with this and it is natural for us to do what is in our best interest.

What if your conditional help is to benefit the person even more? For example, let us say I give some money to support a project, but as a condition, the project coordinators must provide me with weekly reports on the progress of the project. This would clearly not be the selfish side of help. So even if I volunteer, it is ok to make ‘certain’ demands? As to what may make up those demands is another matter.

I still ask the question, when, therefore is help selfish?
I believe the act is its reward.
I am reminded by Romans 12:13 which say, “When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.
Some people make demands when they help, is this because they believe that the one who help, lose?

Whatever your belief, remember we are all creators and we create the world we live in.

My friendship story

As a child, I had the regrettable experience of losing most of my friends due to migration. By the time I had reached age 12 most of the children I knew from our Sunday school and our community had gone overseas as their families went in pursuit of a better life.

This resulted in me becoming a little withdrawn and during my early teenage years felt even more unloved and uncared for. In those days, communication means were not as easily accessible as they are today. So we weren’t able to keep in touch.

I nevertheless was compensated for it at primary school. In Primary school, I had a lot of friends and since I was liked by one of the most beautiful girls in the entire school, I had become very popular. Everyday, religiously, she had an entourage of girls with her whenever she went for her lunch break. She would wait for me at break for us to go have lunch together. Naturally, there would be a group of boys since there were so many girls

These early interactive experiences taught me the importance of socializing and gave me the self confidence needed to be more people oriented.
My life was further influenced by my female friend, Kahiefa, who became my best friend at about age 13. We had been friends since age 9 when we use to sing together on a children’s choir at a near by church.

Today she still remains one of my long time friends along with a few others now residing in USA, England and Canada. The most valuable of lesson and the most cherished about friends, is the fact that we all need to have them, even one. Warm friendships, mutual acquaintances and a feeling that we belong, all add value to living.

Pause, don't stop

As we go through life we have varied experiences; some are frightening and others lead us into exhilarating joy. When you go through your moments of loss or death, take time out to grieve. Cry if you must and reflect on it all, the good and somber times. Allow room for your wisdom to grow from each and every encounter.

When you go through your moments of success and achievement, take time out to celebrate. Laugh, dance and be merry; there is nothing wrong with basking in the rewards of your efforts for a while.

Whatever you face, don't stop there. There are greater things to achieve and more fulfilling things to do. There is more purpose to your life and more great moments to experience. If you stop, you may never experience the better part of your life. Pause, don't stop.

Some experiences may be harsher than others. Don’t stop loving because someone broke your heart. Don’t stop giving because others don’t appreciate all you do. Don’t stop forgiving even though you have been hurt and disappointed. Pause, don’t stop.

These moments of ‘pausing’ will be the most crucial and profound times in your life. If you seek clarity and meaning, the lessons are always greater than you had ever imagined them to be. Pause, don't stop.

Negative Motivations

As a child I was taunted by some of my older siblings. Being number eight of nine, I was pressured in more than one ways to perform. Some times I was called negative names by a brother who is an expert on giving people names.

I have overcome those hurdles but sometimes I wonder how much these early childhood experiences impact on my life today. Feelings of inadequacy, loneliness and unworthiness use to plague me. As a result of my faith in Jesus, I have overcome these, but I know there are many families who struggle with issues like mine.

These negative motivations drove me to make something of my life. With a deep and burning desire to fit in, I have more than 'fit it’; I have created my own mold, model and designs for others to copy. Learning to turn our negative situations into positives is a remarkable gift. I believe now with all my heart that I am destined for greatness.

Family manners that matters

There are some mannerisms which are deep seated in our family. Our parents would never let up on us if we didn’t get them right. Today I want to share with you the family mannerism of greetings or address. Whenever younger children addressed or greeted someone older then the names had to be preceded by a “Mr.”, “Mrs.”, “Miss”, “Madam”, or “Sir”

If the person being addressed was a parent we were not allowed to call them by their first names. We had to say “Mama” or “Papa” which was our version of “mommy” and “Daddy”. On the other hand if we were to address an older sibling then we had to say, “Brother” or “Sister”.

I know that to some persons this may seem strange, but this longstanding family tradition helped to keep us honoring those who were older and was in fact a prelude to proper protocol.

These days as I hear a child addressing his/her mother by her first name, “Dionne” for example. I am not at all comfortable with it. Our parents riveted in our heads that such a behavior was an act of disrespect. Now that we are older and most of us are parents too. We address our parents by saying “Mama G” and “Papa G”. We have also reserved “Mama” for Grandma and “Papa” for Grandpa. For our children they call us “Mommy” and “Daddy”; certainly a family tradition worthy of passing on.

The Have Nots

Some people have become experts on ‘can nots’ and ‘will nots’ and all too familiar with the word ‘impossible’, sadly they too have become the ‘have nots’.

copy right (c) 2008 J.D. Gordon. All rights reserved

Romance I can't resist

Romance like yours I must insist
Tell me words I can’t resist
Melodic expressions that bring me cheer
Tunes which are ever pleasing to my ear

Imprisoned by your romantic prowess
I feel pure, passionate emotional glories
A classic lover’s plight
I yearn for your affection by day and more by night

Appeal to my most sensitive sensuous nerves
Hypnotized by your hips and curves
Intrigue and adventure chase me, more, more I desire
This love affair rekindled with flaming fire

Intrigue and adventure chase me, more, more I desire
This love affair rekindled with flaming fire
Be my painter and move your brush over my mind
Play me, my percussionist, like a bell or a chime

Romance me in ways I can’t resist
So honey may fall like droplets of water from my lips
The lights, the flowers, the music is oh so right
I haste to see the end of day, to experience the splendor of night

copy right (c) 2008 J.D. Gordon. All rights reserved

Two kings in the Kingdom

Today our son is 33 days old and I am 33 years and 82 days old.

Today he weighs 13 lbs and I weight 194.8 lbs

I am reigning and he is in training

It feels so different and oh so new,

Having someone else in the house

Someone else who also loves blue

Both kings communicate fairly well

We only say what we want

Once that is said, no need to bother our heads

He loves his breast; by the way I should ask that he

Help in the celebration in JA for this week is acknowledged as breast feeding week.

“The breast is still the best”, they say, I know he would totally agree

My wife is his mother and his mother is my wife

He is direct from our lineage, though some say he looks too cute to be true

To be given the opportunity to develop another heart, another soul

It is such a blessing, though half of the story remains untold.

A sunday special for you

They LOL at my expense

Yesterday I experienced one of the most hilarious things in my life. You probably would have laughed yourself to tears if you saw me. Really you would…here goes
It was lunch time so I decided I needed to do something to relax. What did I do? I went to the barber to get a trim. My regular barber told me he would be at the shop by the time I got there so I went expecting to see him of course.

When I arrived at the barber shop, much to my disappointment, he was no where in sight. Hesitantly, I decided to try with one of the other barbers. About 5 minutes into the process the power went. Yes the electricity went and it suddenly started raining. Actual it was more like thunderstorms. The entire island was under a flash flood watch and so we were warned about sudden changes in the weather.

About an hour earlier in the day the sun was scorching hot, the day looked so bright and lovely. But now here I was saddled to the barber’s chair; neatly shaved and with one side of my head hairless; rather queer looking.
I decided to wait a while because if I were to leave, I would need to return at some point to complete my trim.
My office was about 15 minutes away, but with the rains it could take me 25 minutes or more.
So I waited and waited, then waited a little more and the electricity just never returned.
What was I going to do? I thought to myself.

If I returned to the office like this I know my co-workers would have a field day laughing at my hair. If I stayed, I could end up spending the entire afternoon at the barber shop without the electricity returning. But I had a cap in the car that I could use to cover up and further more it was raining. That would make the prefect excuse why I was wearing a cap in the office. So I decided to leave and drive back to my office.

As I drove into the car park and secured a parking spot all the way to the far end of the car park, the barber called to say the electricity had just returned. Oh gosh! What a day?

Well, I came back to the office and they all had a good laugh at my expense. I wanted to make somebody’s day and I think I did just that.

Have you ever been told that you are miserable?

After reading the below you might want to either change your ways or ask the person to withdraw the statement, because this is what they are saying about you:


· Wretched
· Causing or accompanied by great discomfort or distress
· Mean or shameful; contemptible
· Wretchedly inadequate
· measly, miserable, pitiful, pitiable, pathetic

1. Not nice: wretched, miserable, annoying
2. unfortunate: unblessed, luckless, hapless, poor, wretched, forlorn, undone, unhappy
3. unhappy: to be pitied, pitiable, poor
4. melancholic: forlorn, miserable, broken up, wretched, unrelieved, refusing comfort, disconsolate

When we look into the meaning of some especially negative words, we will become very cautious in our utterances.

25 days old father

Whether first timers or seasoned parents, all parents have interesting experiences with their little bundle of joy. Wow! Today I am 25 days old, not in age but as a father. Already I have started seeing some of my strengths and what could be considered some of my shortcomings.

Made to feel incompetent

In what was one of my earliest and first experiences in holding our one day old son, Joshua, I recall it was at the hospital where the nurse remarked how weird I looked holding the infant. She went on to suggest that for a BIG man I held the child rather clumsy. I must admit I felt bad.

I thought for a moment about the things people say when they have already mastered some thing that others are learning to cope with or handle and are just not quite there yet.In my research regarding a book I want to write about fathers, I will take a brief look at some of the reasons so many of our fathers are missing from the family equation. It is a book that will consider, among other things, the psychological and emotional impact the father’s ‘presence’ or absence has on the child’s development.

Reflecting on how absorbing the past 25 days has been, I was now beginning to ask myself, whether this was one of the early and first reasons why some men run away. I am not certain of all the experiences of my fellow fathers, but to be able to hold the baby so he can feel comfortable is a challenge. I have oftentimes wondered too how many men are made to feel incompetent, even for the first few days, when they attempt to hold and comfort their crying child.

There are other challenges too which cause us first time fathers to feel we basically can do nothing right when a young child enters the home.

Real men don’t go into hiding

Men who become scared and feel they are not wining in their attempts to be a father naturally goes into hiding. This of course, combined with the conflicts which exist between some couples. Some men may even deny the truth of it all. Just like Adam hid himself when he was found wanting, men today are prone to repeat this ever prevalent feat if they do not catch up with themselves.

As for the mothers, one of the main purposes of the woman’s breast is to provide the warm and cozy comfort that the child so often needs.As for me, with just under a month’s experience I can do my bit. I give our son a good hug and take him for a walk, dance with him or play him something soothing on the flute or the piano. Anyone of these usually helps to calm him and send him off to get some desperately needed sleep.

Her friends dumped her

During our recent pregnancy, one of the recurring complaints of my wife was the fact that she felt like her friends had abandoned her. I tried to discount her concerns, but then I too admittedly, know the value of precious friendships, the kind that brings more color to our lives and so I had to come to her rescue on more than one occasions. I sought to explained to her that if she felt like her friends had forsaken her then she should give them a call and let them know how much she was longing to see and hear from them. Of course, this was not the approached she favored.

So she spent the next few days alone moping and then nose-dived into her pool of self pity. I would once again use the opportunity to explain that if she made the call then it would help to make her feel a lot better. At least twice I called a few of her friends and asked how is it that they had dumped her. Of course they explained how busy they were between their jobs, school and family, but her good friends usually call or take a trip over to the house. I know there are those who will think I should not try to find solutions as some women prefer when their men sympathize or empathized rather than attempt to fix all their problems. Well, that’s just not me. After the emotional experience then we need plausible and suitable solutions to our problems or whatever bothers us.

In most parts of Jamaica, stopping by a friend’s house unannounced is a common practice; which almost can be considered a part of our culture. We like to hang out and lyme or just pass by for a quick hello.

The fact is, we all at some point in our lives feel as though we are alone, left to face our challenges and the storms of life like an island on the sea; a phase in our lives when we believe that our friends are just never there when we needed them most. Jesus had a similar encounter during his Garden of Gethsemane experience.

I am reminded to make a phone call especially when I am aware that a friend, a colleague, a family member, a church brethren or just an associate may be having a challenging time, regardless of whether they are struggling or suffering by their own demise. We all do need a word of encouragement or just a kind reminding that someone else cares; someone else is cheering us on.

Why do things have to come to an end?

Why do things have to come to an end?

I am not sure, I don’t know why

What if they lasted forever?

Well…We just might not want that either



If the good never comes to an end

Then what happens to evil?

Is it that good and bad would reign together at the same time?

If wisdom never comes to an end

Then what happens to foolishness?



If the greatest and happiest times of our lives never come to an end

Then so too might our troubles and trials never end

Whether we believe it is the right or wrong timing,

Right or wrong relationship, right or wrong move

Why do things have to come to an end?



I am really not sure why, but maybe if they didn’t

We wouldn’t have new and refreshing beginnings, or new seasons

Perhaps we would lose the opportunity and joy of starting something different,

Something which also climaxes with exhilarating joy then comes to an end

Left Hanging

With one lovers leap, I was swept off my feet
Wondering, wandering along,
Like a cold and lonely kitten I cried,
Yet to embraced your love, God knows I’ve tried
Left hanging, feeling incomplete, feeling like a kite in the wind

My dreams I chased
Though the turmoil I faced
From my youth I desired the melody of the flute
Great aspirations wrapped in shattered hopes, expels my breath
Now each sun set finds me with silent regrets
Left hanging, feeling incomplete, like a child without his toy
I was robbed of my joy

You promise not promise what you have promised
Now I am without it and emptied of that promise
You never call, you never texted
Oh! If you could hear the groaning of a heart so vexed
Left hanging, feeling incomplete, pushed aside like broken vase

Now I stand alone fully unsatisfied
For with every broken promise,
Every unfulfilled dream, my emptiness deepens, like a chasm
Waiting, longing to be loved, to achieve
For you to deliver
So many starts and few little ends
Left hanging, feeling incomplete…

$The Price you PAY$

By J.D. Gordon

1. 
   
   If you believe the cost of an education is exorbitant, then consider the price you pay to learn some of the crucial lessons life teaches.
2. 
   If it seems painstakingly difficult to achieve unity then consider the price you pay for not working together as one body.
3. 
   If you believe loving is difficult, consider the price you pay for falling in love with the wrong person.
4. 
   If you find it difficult to exercise a little patience, consider the price you pay for your impatience.
5. 
   If the cost of being caring and thoughtful to your fellow man is too burdensome for you, then consider the price of loneliness and inconsideration
6. 
   If the sweat of achieving your goals and dreams are much too much, then consider the price of feeling like your life has been a total failure
7. 
   If you think that slavery has been abolished, over and done with, then you must consider the price we are still paying for being shackled by our own minds
8. 
   Even though you may think that some persons are just not worth talking to because of their shortcomings and you are better off without them, please consider the price they pay for not having you in their life
9. 
   If you think it is expensive to dial seven digits just to say ‘Hi’, then consider the price you pay for not spending time with those who matters most to you and it is now to late
10. 
    If you believe it is too time consuming to eat right and exercise, then consider the price of regaining your health once you have mishandled it
11. 
    And if you still believe there is not much to do with your life and you can do what ever, whenever; then, consider my friend, the price you will pay when the Giver of life calls for your life account.
12. 
    We all go through life craving things and stuff, but not just for the sake of having them; We like the feeling of owning or possessing certain things. We like the attention it brings to us and our own feelings of accomplishment and security. Whatever the reason, what is certain is that we want a house, a car, an education for the benefits and the experience they bring. We crave a certain experience, be it emotional, spiritual or intellectual. But, oh the price we pay.

Making Every Minute Count

How often do you tell yourself you are going to do something and just never got around to doing it?

It is a well known fact that procrastinators do not get as much done, which usually means they have less money and more stress. But this isn’t true for only procrastinators but for those who have to live or work with them too. Think of how much more difficult your life is at times because you have to deal with people who are either not dependable or who just keep procrastinating.

Life is like a passing wind and so we have to grab what we can and share as we go along. There really isn’t much time for “if only” and “I’ll do it tomorrow”

A very integral part of the process of making every minute counts is having a good knowledge of where your time goes. The same is true for managing your time and the same is true for managing your money. Know where your efforts are going. But how does this help? Well firstly, it will help you to make meaningful changes and to redirect your life onto your preferred path.

My first son, Joshua was born on August 21, 2008. Now I am faced with the challenge of trying to fit in what I do into his time. Not the other way around of fitting him into my regular schedule. By taking this approach I have already established where my priority lies and better yet, I have recognized the value of making every minute counts in my child’s life.

These are some of the stuff I tell people in order to help them to make every minute counts:

Don’t just say what you are going to do – JUST DO IT!

Conduct a time audit to determine how you spend each 24 hour. (Evaluation of an entire week is quite meaningful)

Making every minute counts is a habit, just like wasting time is.

When the fear of the consequences of not doing something outweighs your fear of the consequence of doing it, then you will do it. But either way that kind of fear is unhealthy. Fear cripples us and so we act like slaves. Not free to act as we would like, rather as we feared. God never made us to be driven by fear. So do away with your fears and act out of love and wisdom.

A lot of your success throughout your short time here on earth will depend on your ability to organize yourself, knowing when to delegate and when to say no and of course possessing the discipline and commitment to make it all happen.

Some things you will just not find favor in doing. But, even those unpleasant tasks are moments that are to be treasured as they are also times of learning.

When we make every minute counts, we will not only add life to our years but years to our lives. We become rejuvenated and refreshed knowing we are living our dream and making a difference in the lives of those we meet and even those we may never meet face to face.

LIFE

It took me all my thirty years to realize that I don't have to understand everything in life.

Copy right (c) 2007 J.D. Gordon. All rights reserve

Shackled by the mind

Shackled by the Mind - The Story of the Red Rooster
By JD Gordon

Copy right (2007) J.D. Gordon All rights reserved

One day I captured a red domestic fowl
Who was always free to be
Never knew bondage, never knew restraint
But here he was, shackled, not free

This beautiful red feather bird
Had been around for my growing days
Was the last of its sort
But he surely knew glory days

By the tie of a cord, a law or a curse,
On only one leg
He was now married to a tree
This bird that once was free

Many days had passed
Then, he was finally unfastened
Told many times to roam
He never budged, just stood there all alone

For in his mind he was still not free
And oh, he reminded me so much of me
For though my hands and feet were loosed
I was still held by the roost

Rebellions, bloodsheds and grief
Woeful Pain, rusted fetters and agony,
Battered, shattered and left to die
Not a beast, but a Slave was I

Eighteen thirty and eight
I was emancipated, this date
Free to walk, free to talk, free to live
I must now be set free again

For my mind is still held captive
Bound by prejudice, pride and injustice
From the evil shackles, I must flee

For though emancipated, I am still not free

Summertime

Summer time, the perfect time for a picnic and a trip to the beach. Even if just in thought, you know you are there whenever you hear the summer breeze whispering ‘relaxation’ in your ear.

 

The summer heat leaves us with but few options.

Caged inside the four walls and the sweating boys and girls usually lead to a time of relief either at the river or at the beach.

 

SUMMER-TIME JAMAICA is a fantastic time. I recall days spent travelling by foot to pick mangoes and to then cool ourselves off in a new by river or beach.

 

 

 

 

The Path before us - Retirement

The Path before us – Retirement
By J.D. Gordon
Copy right © 2008. All rights reserved.


The path before us is filled with hope
Hope for better and in spite of the challenges
We know with God, we can cope

The path before us is decorated with the colours of our dreams
We ingeniously shape and frame it
The dark paths, with our lights we must lit

Some people plan to retire
And others retire to plan
I have written some thoughts which could make a poem, a speech or a song

Retirement puts us in full control
So we get to be the manager of our own time,
All the time, and for the rest of our time to come

No longer will Corporate breathe down your neck;
You can now relax and breathe fresh life into your hobbies.
Yes! Now you can throw out the clock, or kill the cock

The path before us is now the path you are taking
Every day will bring with it a new cake for baking
A new sketch for painting
Fresh earth for planting
And a new reason for waking

With retirement you are not being shoved off the stage,
You now get to sit back and watch
Watch your role being played by someone else.
It is times like these which bring the greatest fulfillment, for you now know for sure; surely you have made your mark.

Butterfly

Where are you?

Where are you butterfly?
You are not quite a bird
Not quite the music we have heard

You are not flower, nor butter
You are not worm, moth nor a fly
You are a mixture of butter and fly
You butter my garden, so splendidly

Flap! flap!, your wings
Melody to my heart sings
Your move and grooves
Soothe and butter my hooves

Butterfly Kiss
I never want to miss
The drops of honey
Upon my lips

I can now dance
At least one more chance
Like diamonds to girl
Butterfly you bring life to my world

Beauty

Beauty is 10% what you see and 90% of how it makes you feel.

Copy right (c) 2008 J.D. Gordon. All rights reserved

Today – Yet another day

Today as I celebrate yet another birthday
My heart is filled with gratitude for what the Lord has done.
It is persons like you who have made it possible for me to celebrate yet another one

Many today regret having been born
Many today regret others being born.
I’m thankful you have not found yourself in either category.

Yet another day, yet another opportunity to mold something new
Yet another day, yet another time,
Another hour, God and yourself to be true

On my birthday, I always purchase a gift for my mother.
After all, that day is a commemoration of the incredible gift of life that she gave me.
Yet another day to be me

Children and forgiveness

It is not that children easily forgive, they know no alternative but to remain kind, caring and friendly. Teach them otherwise and they may opt for it.
Copy right (c) 2008 J.D. gordon All rights reserved

Fat-her Day?

Dad, daddy, dada
Pa, pappy, papa
Old man or father
They are all the same

You whose effort goes unnoticed
Who not just only ‘Fat her’
This is for you and about you
Cause even grown men need their dad too

In my little world you are my hero,
You are my champion
And so I call you Dad.
Happy father’s day

Staying in the process

I do not know what you are going through right now, but I know God can help.
One of my most profound lessons over the past week has been about patience.
Honestly, no one likes to wait, but this was how I discharged some of my weight.

1. I learnt that being patient benefits me more than anyone else. – It protects me
2. 
   If I stay on the production line I will become complete – Just complete the process
3. 
   If I jump off the production line and abort the process I could become useless.
   
4. A part of being patient is learning to accept things sometimes for what it is worth
   
   You are able to get through this too. You thought last year was rough and now this. But this too shall pass. It is only a season, a phase. You must stay in and learn your lessons well, I know you will win.

When no one hears but you

(Is this your desperate cry?)


When no one hears the song of my heart but you
For you know my heart and the things I go through
You know the melody of my song
And you whisper in my ear, “It won’t be long”

When no one hears the song of my heart but you
Who then can judge whether or not I am true
For those who dance to its tune are not many
For the hearers are only but a few

Oh I wish they could hear
Through all the hooting, chanting and shouting
With all this hullabaloo
All they ask is, “How are you?”

But no one knows the song of my heart like you do
You know its dynamics, quietness and nuances
You even sing the parts with me
And we sway together like the wind and the tree

I cannot stand the loneliness
My heart longs to express
I wait patiently to lie on thy breast
Only there will I ever find sweet rest

When no one hears the song of my heart but you
A world of sadness without you
I shall stay by your side, where from the ills I can hide
In your presence always, right there, we sing together

The place where I am free
And I find my life again
Oh the bliss, with chorus on my lips
Yes! I find me, I find me, I find me in you

Aim

I must turn and go,
Turn and run
To that place where I must travel
To that dwelling of satisfaction, fulfillment and fun

I must aim
To hit my intended target, my mark
I must aim and aim well
For victory, At times I may be like a hawk

Where is my intended goal?
I asked myself.
Who removed my base, my home plate?
Is this a delusion by night?

I need to find my way
For I know on this path I must stay
I will aspire, inspire and acquire my dream
I will persevere and fly, though my struggles are many

I must turn and go,
Turn and run
To that place where I must travel
To that dwelling of satisfaction, fulfillment and fun

I will aim and I will run,
My hands still swaying
And my legs even now are sprinting
I aim to reach my aim

Purpose, purpose, purpose
God surely knows
Soon I will celebrate
Once I arrive at that triumphant Gate

Rid yourself

The things which affect and influence us most are those that were said to us, done to us and we never forget. They grow and become like flesh that cling to our mind, body, and heart. We must therefore continuously rid ourselves of those things that are toxic.
Copy right (c) 2008 J D Gordon All rights reserved

We could learn a thing or two about patience part 2

Does patience have a beginning? Does it have an end? What exist at the end of our patience road? When we exercise patience, are we being protected from anything or we are just hurting ourselves? Who is the beneficiary when I exercise patience? How does it help me?

In my quest to find answers on this ever important issue and virtue of patience, these are some of my findings:

Where should patience start?
Patience begins the moment or instant you recognize the need to exercise it. That time when you become anxious and overwhelmed. It should begin at that point you feel most uncomfortable because it is just not happening for you.
James 5 v 7 says, “Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains.”If you have an interest in something, or you have invested your time, your money and energy, then you will want to wait out the process to see the results of your labor. I recall writing these words as a blog in the month of March, “Most of the weights we carry around in life are due to an unwillingness to wait.”
I have found this to be so true even in my own life. Patience must begin with each new day. Forget the ills and forbearance of yesterday. Every day is a day for a fresh start. I cannot overemphasize the importance of ridding ourselves of yesterdays unwanted, that is a blog all by itself.

Who does patience benefit?
As I look at it, the giver of patience will reap the greatest rewards of giving it.
Why do I say that?
Well, let us look at closely. First of all this was what the wise man Solomon had to say in proverbs 19 v 11, “A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.”

Does it hurt to exercise patience? Until we reach the point of a change of attitude or a change towards the situations around us; then what appears to be ‘the pains of patience’ will continue to exist. In order for patience not to be painstaking, there must be a change of heart to whatever is bothering you. It is so amazing that as a result of our willingness to wait we become less pressured, less stressed and less frustrated with everything around us. Patience is hard work, but it leaves us feeling free and calm.

I have to deal with impatient people every single day as I drive on the Jamaican roads. I only wish it was as easy to inject into others this all important ingredient to life as it is easy to talk about it. I would have been able to heal many homes and families, employees and managers, friendships and all.

I want to close by talking a little about principle no. 2. In part one of this blog in February I expounded on principle no. 1 which says:
Whatever you need you are going to find it difficult to give
This explains why some of the persons you meet who really need patience are the very same persons who find it very difficult to give it. They need it so they can’t give it.
In principle no. 2

You receiving what you need and so desperately desire is tied up in you giving the very same thing you need.

Quite a profound principle; if you want love, start loving others and you will be surprised just how much love comes back to you. The same is true for friendships, patience and so on. Start being friendly to others and you will win more friends than you could ever imagine. The minute you start to exercise patience you will become more and more patient. After all, it is a fruit of the Spirit.

In part 3 of this topic I want to close off by talking a little about what are we being protected from when we exercise patience. It will answer questions such as why did God instruct us to have patience and also expect us to do so in all our relations, even when dealing with him, the Divine?

Then finally I will expound on what exist at the end of the road call patience. What will you and I meet up there? When your patience has run out what happens next?

Babies

Babies bring out the best of our survival skills, our smiles and our power and will to care. If it doesn’t come out, then it just isn’t there.

copy right (c) 2008 J D Gordon. All rights reserved

People who touch our lives

Some people are like angels, simply heaven sent.

They touch your heart and make you do and believe things you just never thought possible at all or perhaps you thought you could do it, but just needed the push, the energy and the determination to get it done. You perhaps just needed someone to believe in you, someone to cheer you on.

God delights in using each of us to better the lives of those who we come in contact with on a daily basis. If you are an Angel, then continue to touch the lives of those who are in your way and even those who you will have to sometimes detour to see.

If you can touch one heart, then you would have rid the world of one more broken heart and one more victim. Each heart that is touched will then create many more transformed lives.

Think about those who have touched your lives in recent times, say a prayer for them and thank them. We thank God for family, friends and strangers he has placed in our lives that have touched our hearts forever.

Instrumental music for the soul

I love instrumental music and I have been composing a few new ones. Check out some of my music and enjoy it by clicking on the following link:

http://www.dubtunes.com/process.php?PHPSESSID=e72adfa28679878874db2158bbb32a34&pname=ShowAlbumDetailsProcess-Start&CategoryID=CategoryID&AlbumID=4

Find your soil or die

In November of 2002 I was talking with a young Lady residing in Canada, who was going through a rough period in her life. She was married, unemployed and a Christian. Ironically these three areas were her greatest areas of struggle. She felt as though she was being stifled at her church, just barely hanging on. Her marriage was almost over and she was just not getting hooked up with the right job and her finance was drying up.

She and I spoke for hours as she shared her heart and one story after another. She was perplexed and sad, but hopeful. She was desperately searching for answers and among the answers she needed was to ‘find herself.’ So after listening to her full story, I made a comment which many may have regarded as too simple response for such a multi-faceted problem.

In my response I told her, “Find your soil or die”. I was so moved and surprised by the profoundness of the statement that I went further to write about it in my book, “The Colour and Power of Your Thoughts – Inspiring, witty and motivating words.”
I made sure to comment that finding your soil doesn’t necessarily mean going in search of a new environment.
Sometimes it means finding a more fertile area in the ground in which you have been planted. Sometimes it requires creating that environment for your own survival.

I do not know much about farming and gardening, but I do happen to know that sometimes a plant is drying or dying and despite your best efforts it just will not flourish. So you uproot it and plant it somewhere else and amazing results starts to happen. The plant becomes revived, it begins to flourish and bear fruit. I thought to myself, ‘what an awesome message.’

In the same breath you might be struggling where you are and barely making it. You may even be operating at a level ten times less than you were created to be. You could be earning more, helping more, and giving more, living healthier mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. You are just not living victoriously. Where you are planted is not fertile enough for you to grow.

Your roots are desperately in need of a better soil, a better environment. So you decide it is time for a change; a change of heart, a change of attitude, a change of friends and sometimes even a change of your support group. I am so touched by this, that every time I begin to talk or write about this subject, my hands become filled with goose pimples.

I spoke with the young Lady late last year and in a brief exchange she told me she was now living in Florida and felt as though she had just started living.

Not because we don't get along

Not because we do not get along it means you are devious and I’m not.
Nor, are you imperfect and I am flaw free.
The greater the tendencies to disagree the more divine the love and accord will be where it is found.
They say, two can not walk unless they agree, but two will not agree unless they learn to take little steps together daily; trusting each other to make one move at a time.

Not because we do not get along it means that God loves you any less than He loves me.
Trials are supposed to make us strong, not become bitter, but aspiring for better. It always presents an opportunity to learn something new, something different and something which gives us that "wow" reaction.
Even though we have our struggles you have taught me a few things about me.
First, I must be a little more patient, forgiving and a little more caring.

Second of all, I must open and maintain an account of love, patience and forgiveness;
An account where I can make withdrawals once the need arises.
For there will be days when what you say will hurt me and what you do will cause pain.
My friend, my colleague, my relative and you too stranger

Above all the things I have learnt, this one stays with me most, if we are going to get along it is a choice we must make. A simple yet painstaking step we must take.
I choose who to love and who to hate, who to forgive and care for, even if it is a fake.
But once I started giving you a chance, I suddenly realized the many beautiful and wonderful things about you, things that were being covered by the shadows and the clouds of my anger.

Surely, we have got to find a better way, a better way to live and be.
As difficult as it may seem, the choice is mine, for with the choice comes the will and the attitude to win, to do and to become. Tell yourself you can and you will.

Keep the tap on

You are flowing with inspiration and burning with fires of passion. You are able to think and reason at a much higher level than normal. You have finally tapped into your creative imagination and what seemed impossible is now but a ‘walk in the park’.

God has positioned you right where you are for such a time as this. You are affecting lives and lives are being changed to a commitment to Jesus Christ. Your wisdom is God-given.

I urge you my friend, to keep the tap on. Whatever makes you glow like a bulb, shine like a star and become all that you are, keep it on. You have much more in you to give and to pour out so keep your tap on.

Some things in life will dry up or cease once they are no longer desired, treasured or cared for. I urge you my friend, to keep the tap on.

If along your journey your pipeline becomes clogged, just seek the help of the ‘Great Plumber – God Almighty.’ In all that you will achieve and do, remember there are many who are counting on you, so keep the tap on.

I am a Natural

I have drawn the conclusion that of all the gifts God has given me; he has made me into a natural. Of all the stuffs our parents gave us they gave us some of the most essentials which are keys to life and motivations for living.

Apart from being real, corporeal, flesh and blood, I naturally fit into to any mold.
Like water in a mug and socket to a plug. It is a God-given gift to be able to fit into the position of a carpenter, a plumber, a builder, an engineer, a doctor, a lawyer and so on. Don’t get me wrong now I am very mindful of my limits.

Being number eight of a total of nine children to both parents, these are some of the roles we would play during our play times. Can you recall ever being a fire fighter, a police officer or a nurse? Well, I can recall some of my fond childhood memories.

When I say I am a natural. I am lifelike, inimitable, congenial, and sympathetic, true to life, true to nature, faithful, true as steel, spontaneous, friendly and fully homemade. I delight in nature and I am a deep admirer of natural beauty.

Even in drama at school or at our church we were great actors playing our roles with sincerity and passion. After all, isn’t life a big drama and we must all play our roles well?

Our parents paid us the necessary attention to ensure we were all able to do everything around the house. We were being groomed to become self-reliant yet remaining human enough to offer a helping hand to someone in need as well as knowing when we needed help.

As a natural, I am not motivated by material stuff and possessions. Instead I am motivated by love, laughter, passion, smiles, hugs and kisses and other thoughtful deeds. I am motivated by purpose, a purpose to live and a purpose which I must fulfill. For at the end of this natural life I will not be remembered for the things I possessed and owned, but for what I did, the way I made others felt and the things I said.

I am a natural, not complicated but true to the cause for which I stand.

The power of mothercraft

"She who mothers a child also mothers the children with whom her child interacts."

copy right (c) 2008 J. D. Gordon. All rights reserved.

Moms’ applause

In mom’s applause the hands are the hands of the world,
They are the hands of every mother’s child
For with our hands we can do, we can give, receive and help
So we applaud you with the clapping of our hands together
All at the same time, all over the world, with thunderous applause.

We applaud you mother, grandmother, step-mother
Grandmothers have earned their honors and more,
A gift would be too small to give, a life too short to live
Too limited to represent what you have done
We applaud you with the clapping of our hands together
All at the same time, all over the world, with thunderous applause.

The burdens you bear and times of good cheer
When mother is happy the home is happy
For this cause we join our hands and we unite our hearts all over the world

We acknowledge you as far more precious than what we can get with diamonds and pearl
We applaud you with the clapping of our hands together
All at the same time, all over the world, with thunderous applause.


Every year since 1913, the second Sunday in May is devoted to your honor.
Special, self giving and sacrificial is the love of a virtuous mother.
We commend you highly, we praise you sincerely
We express our deep appreciation for you mothers of all kind
And so, once again we pause to applaud you with the clapping of our hands together
All at the same time, all over the world, with thunderous applause.

Mom you are a one of a kind girl, have a great day

We need a family renaissance

The entire month of May will be celebrated as family month.
I want to talk a little about the entire family unit and dedicate the weekend to the appreciation of our mothers.

As I sat at home yesterday half sick but not well enough to do anything, I thought about the monster call crime and the various atrocities committed by one human being to another.

I wondered also whether there is a direct relationship between the degree of dysfunctional families and the level of crime in our society.

In my call for a redefinition of the role of fathers and mothers, I am also calling for the overhauling of the entire family. There needs to be newly established family traditions and values. Things that the family can hold close to their hearts and which preserves the institution of family in the way it was designed to be.
Men, women and children are all at risk of dying young and living sub standard lives if the ills of families are not addressed.

Happy couples make happy homes and happy homes have happy children. Happy children make happy families, then happy communities, happy schools, happy churches and so on and so forth. The fact is it all begins somewhere and end up at another place but for sure it will return to where it started.

It is a fundamental principle of life and the bible tells us, we reap what we have sewn.
As I prepare myself to become a member of the specially privilege group called, parents. I am reminded that this is a position of tremendous responsibility.
Children require a great deal of supervision and attention. That is just the way it is.

I would support moves to hold parents more responsible for their child’s ills. So if my child was guilty of a crime then my entire family would require rehabilitation, counseling or therapy. Clarissa Graves, the British poet says, “What a man sows, that shall he and his relations reap”

I am not for one minute purporting an eye for an eye. I am not even suggesting it, because unforgiveness is one of the deadly venoms destroying our families and the society.

Let us teach parenting, it is too important a role to leave to chance. The framing of a young, delicate mind is a BIG job and the rewards are far beyond dollar value.

The Chinese proverbs put it beautifully; “If you are planning for a year, sow rice; if you are planning for a decade, plant trees; if you are planning for a lifetime, educate people”

Completely flawless

I am not sure whether I am complete, for I still need a little more carving down, a little pruning and then some refining. When I am broken, it is then and only then, I can be melted and remolded into a perfect vessel. Others may not see just what I am meant to be, but I trust my Master to complete his handy work and make me into a master piece.

Good Teachers are our Heroes

Today is a very special day as we pause to salute our nation’s teachers.
A profession that is the back bone for all the nations of the world.
Teaching is also the pillow which holds the heads of the world.
If I were to use one word to describe a good teacher then it would be ‘hero’.

A teacher has the ability to break a child’s will, destroy his spirit or mold him or her into something great. When I consider how much my early childhood experiences were framed and carved from my interactions with good teachers, then I consider myself blessed.
Blessed to have had the opportunity of my mind being trained by women and men of great integrity, good values and moral standards and above all, they had the fear and wisdom of God.

These are the true heroes of the day; Spending their time, their energy and their lives helping to develop the lives of others. Finding and reaping very little material rewards at times, but gaining greater joy from others accomplishments and their success stories.

If we are able to truly give of ourselves and to find at least one person who we can pour ourselves into. If we can find someone who we can guide, instruct and help to make it to the top of their mountain, then we have reached a plateau of maturity where only the heroes among us go.

I salute you, unsung heroes. I wish you will find heart-warming joy and fulfillment in everyday life as you give to the world.

Emotional inventory

Taking a daily emotional inventory helps to track who you are becoming as you are influenced by life's forces within and without.

Copy right (c) 2008 J.D. Gordon. All rights reserved

Managing your money and managing your love life

I have spent quite a great deal of my youthful years studying accounting and finance.
Most of these years have taught me the importance of not only balancing my accounts but also my life.
Most persons struggle with managing their money, as the saying goes, just when you're about to make ends meet, someone moves the ends.
Managing ones money is a combination of the following:

• Setting goals and devising a plan to achieve it
• Staying organized
• Cutting spending waste wherever they occur
• Building and keeping a budget
• Always keeping your revenue above your expenses (Inflows v outflows)
• Saving and investing money

Managing your money is much like managing your love life. Some persons may not necessarily agree with me; however stay with me a little. Managing your money and your love life both require a lot of attention and they both affect each other. Poor money management can lead to a bad love life or even no love life in some regards. On the other hand, not managing your love life properly could also steer you into serious money woes. Let us take a look at my list above in the reverse order.

Saving and Investing
Most people do two things with their money which are to spend and save. There is also a third and important use of money; that of investing. If you were to keep your money at home under the mattress, instead of investing it, your money doesn't work for you. However, if you invest your money, you make more money by earning interest on what you put away or by buying and selling items that increase in value. The idea behind investing money is allowing your money to work for you as well as getting back more than you have put away.

In like manner, the experts will tell you that you must invest in your love relationship and spend time building a solid relationship even more than you would for a solid investment plan. This will definitely ‘save’ you unwanted relationship stress.

Inflows and outflows
In money management you should always keep your inflows above your outflows.

However, in managing your love life it is recommended that you always give more than you expect in return. Simply put, keep your outflows above your inflows. According to relationship specialists if each partner gives 60% and expect only 40% in return, then they both will receive more than they were expecting.

Building and keeping a budget
A budget is a tool to help you prioritize your spending and manage your money—no matter how much or how little you have. Keeping the flames alive in your romantic relationship should be a high priority item. Being creative, keeping the intimacy alive and communication are three important items in a successful love relationship.

The remaining three items above will be dealt with in the second edition of this blog.

The pink hibiscus on the table

My wife and I were at a weekend couples retreat last year when the pink hibiscus on the table caught my eyes. One of the hotel staff had severed this little branch from its main frame, placed it in a lovely vase and rested it on our table to enhance the décor of the room.

We were in our second year of marriage and decided to spend an entire weekend with other young and seasoned couples. The whole weekend was filled with fun, frolic, love and a school of lessons.

This was a few months before I had taken up gardening as a hobby. My mind flashed back to a few weeks earlier when we had transplanted some of the flowers. As a result of the time lapse, one of the plants went into a state of shock.
This lasted for days and it seemed as though the plant would never recover.
I was disheartened and bewildered.

As I looked at the pink hibiscus on the table, I sensed that it too will go through a state of shock and this will last for as long as it takes to develop new roots.
This little pink hibiscus was struggling to survive and needed some urgent help. I also contemplated how much this must have been a lovely branch while it was still joined to its ‘family’. It now had to take on life on its own.

If you have been following my path in this blog so far, then you know exactly where I am going next.
Our marriage was much like the hibiscus on the table and the flower we had transplanted a few weeks earlier.

We both were doing well with our original attachments and in the gardens in which we were born; the place where we were originally planted for so many years. We had been severed from our families and joined as one. We were also now in our state of shock.
We were going to continue our state of shock for as long as it took us to grow new roots.

Now, we were in a garden of our own and needed to re-root. We would continue to live in a state of shock for the rest of our days, wither slowly and die or find our roots and started to flourish again. These were our options.

There are many families who are like this ‘pink hibiscus on the table’.
We struggle to stay alive and we struggle to keep going. But be encouraged when I tell you I am not sure what became of that hibiscus on the table at the resort we stayed for the weekend. But the flower we transplanted a year ago has become a star in our eyes. You just can’t help but notice how beautiful and complete it looks even before you enter the garden.

Is it raining where you are?

Yesterday as I drove into the drive way, I noticed the withering of one set of my impatiens flowers in the planter box just below the window. I got out of the car and on my way to pour some water on the seemingly suffering plants, my wife asked, “Why are you water the plant seeing we have been having rains and more rains for over a week now?”

I was a little startled by the question and pondered a little. We live in one of the watershed areas in our beautiful island of Jamaica.

I also noticed that everything else was lush green and just lovely. They not only looked great but also smelt great. Yet in the midst of all this rain and down pouring there were a few impatiens that were about to dry up and die.

This reminded me so much of life. You can be in an environment where there is so much happening, and yet for you it is just not happening. There is rain, rain and more rain yet you are still dry and thirsty.

There may even be lots of opportunities and several ways to achieve your dreams and desires, yet it is just not coming together for you so you ask yourself, “What about me?”

Well, after two attempts to pour water on the impatiens flowers, the water just wasn’t reaching the impatiens. Of course by this time the planter box was now filled with water, but not overflowing. I then proceeded to shift some of the other flowers to enhance my view. It was then that I understood fully what was happening.

The roots of this one set of impatiens were in the corner and on a higher lump of soil than all the others.

So despite all the rains and down pouring, this flower was still quailing and dying. To achieve sometimes means we just have to change our position, our stance, or where we plant our roots.

The bible says that the righteous shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper.


What a comforting promise? If you are going through your dry seasons, or it is happening else where and for others, but not for you, then it may be time to consider your position. It sometimes means you need to seek the help of wise counsel, but you need to feel and share in the down pouring of the rain.

Have it and own it

You can have some things but never own it. On the flip side, you can also own some things but never truly have it.

It is human nature once we find something we are fond of or something we admire deeply, then we want to have it, hold it and own it.

Love is one of those things, when we experience it with someone. We want to keep that experience and so we want to keep that someone. We desire recurrent experiences and moments with that someone or something.
However, is it ok to always love and have?
Is it that loving without having is a higher degree of love?

The average person wants what they love and love what they want.
But is it ok to be this way?
In loving without having, you give of yourself wholeheartedly without feeling the need to own, possess or have. It is that high point of love where it becomes truly immaculate. It is also that point where you love and give rather than love and take. That is why the bible says that God is love.

This type of love of which we speak is usually found in true friendships, it is almost heaven sent. It is that level where you are able to love something or someone without holding them too tightly but allowing them to be and if they are really yours they will stay.

So when we decide to love someone or some thing without having it, we have set ourselves some boundaries. Boundaries that we all need and boundaries we fear of breaking. But true love is powerful and without fear.