25 days old father

Whether first timers or seasoned parents, all parents have interesting experiences with their little bundle of joy. Wow! Today I am 25 days old, not in age but as a father. Already I have started seeing some of my strengths and what could be considered some of my shortcomings.

Made to feel incompetent

In what was one of my earliest and first experiences in holding our one day old son, Joshua, I recall it was at the hospital where the nurse remarked how weird I looked holding the infant. She went on to suggest that for a BIG man I held the child rather clumsy. I must admit I felt bad.

I thought for a moment about the things people say when they have already mastered some thing that others are learning to cope with or handle and are just not quite there yet.In my research regarding a book I want to write about fathers, I will take a brief look at some of the reasons so many of our fathers are missing from the family equation. It is a book that will consider, among other things, the psychological and emotional impact the father’s ‘presence’ or absence has on the child’s development.

Reflecting on how absorbing the past 25 days has been, I was now beginning to ask myself, whether this was one of the early and first reasons why some men run away. I am not certain of all the experiences of my fellow fathers, but to be able to hold the baby so he can feel comfortable is a challenge. I have oftentimes wondered too how many men are made to feel incompetent, even for the first few days, when they attempt to hold and comfort their crying child.

There are other challenges too which cause us first time fathers to feel we basically can do nothing right when a young child enters the home.

Real men don’t go into hiding

Men who become scared and feel they are not wining in their attempts to be a father naturally goes into hiding. This of course, combined with the conflicts which exist between some couples. Some men may even deny the truth of it all. Just like Adam hid himself when he was found wanting, men today are prone to repeat this ever prevalent feat if they do not catch up with themselves.

As for the mothers, one of the main purposes of the woman’s breast is to provide the warm and cozy comfort that the child so often needs.As for me, with just under a month’s experience I can do my bit. I give our son a good hug and take him for a walk, dance with him or play him something soothing on the flute or the piano. Anyone of these usually helps to calm him and send him off to get some desperately needed sleep.