I was listening to a radio programme yesterday afternoon on my way to conduct a rehearsal session in Kingston. When this man called in to the family counselor to explain how frustrating his family life was becoming. He said that his wife had little or no regard for all the rules they had laid down for their seven year old son. He went on to further explain that whenever he commented, he would be greeted with disrespect or even avoided for days. He explained several other disheartening experiences in public places and was now contemplating leaving so she could do whatever she wants, whenever she wants.
In a love relationship it is very important that partners are connected, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually as well as share similar interest; shared goals that they can both work towards. You would be so surprise how many people go out in search of a partner without taking into consideration some of these vital ingredients to mix.
The further apart a couple is from each other, the more conflicts they will have. The gap which exists isn’t necessarily caused by poor communication. It could be as a result of any of the three connecting areas mentioned above or other interests or even past experiences.
Case in point, there are some married couples who do struggle with issues which they themselves did not create. Their marriage is threatened by the absence of fundamental principles that were also missing during their growing up years.
All relationships have conflicts of some sort, however the further a part they are, the deeper ‘the abyss of disagreement.’ It is just the way life is. The closer I am to GOD, the more I will want to please him, the more I understand what he likes and want. The more I understand the people around me the better I am able to deal with each individual. But all this must be embodied in a WILLINGNESS to make it work.
In the case of the husband mentioned at the start. Perhaps his wife was always disrespectful to her father or maybe there was no father figure in her life at all, no real man. It therefore becomes even more difficult for her to deal with her very own husband. The Counselor was apt in making the distinction that this was not a parenting issue but a marriage issue.
Life can be like that at times, where a problem has a tendency to create many other off-shoots, thus having a spiral effect. Misery loves misery they say.
It will therefore take wisdom and patience to decipher what the real problem. Quite often this is the case after the person has already exploded.
I have got my share of issues in dealing with others, you’ve got yours. Some relationship issues remain despite the vast improvement in knowledge and advancement in technology. We have just not been able to master the art of dealing with people. People must begin to see the need to act responsible. If we plant seeds of discord, then we will certainly reap the fruits of disharmony, disunity and relationship woes. Is it any wonder than those who live the best life are those who give the most and expect the least? Certainly not, if I learn to serve without servitude, then I have more influence both over my own life and those whom I serve. If we can’t get along it could mean that we are too far a part, come a little closer.