Why are you being someone else?

I was reacting to how badly I was treated by a friend recently, but I soon realized that this wasn’t me at all. I was not being myself.
I wanted her to know how disappointed and hurt I was so I was reacting accordingly. My reactions were supposed to make her feel bad, ah! Or something like that.
The problem with that though is all that wasn’t me. That’s just not the way I behave or treat others.

Furthermore, I had a bigger, better role to play but because someone had done something to me which I didn’t like, I was now playing a minor role, a role totally different from the one God had ‘auditioned’ me for.

I then recognized that I was being distracted. In the wink of an eye I had made the wrongs right and moved on. The sooner I did, the sooner I started living again. My ill feelings, my hurt and my depression were all gone. It was an amazing change of attitude.

Whenever others do bad things to us, sometimes we behave the way we think we should respond and not necessarily the way we would want to. This has the tendency of creating greater conflict on the inside. So a small thing even appears much bigger than it really is. This internal struggle is a battle between the real you and the distracted you.

‘You are your worst enemy’, they say and this really embodies the struggle we face against ourselves.
These distractions come at us every now and again from all angles and in varying shapes and forms. Contended I am, having quit that other role, I am happier, free and I am enjoying the real me.

QUIET PLEASE! Healing Taking Place

Over the past few days I have been displaying this sign on my desk at work above my computer. Quite often we get a little cut and we seek to have the wound covered so it can go through the process of healing. Our aim is to protect it from festering into something else. But how often do we take steps to protect our emotional wounds from festering? It is possible that we feel hurt by things people say and do to us each day of our lives. However, if we are too easily offended, that is a matter all by itself for another time.

People will harm you today because of something you did or said to them 10 years ago. That is the power that unresolved, festered hurts will have over people’s lives. It controls your actions and your reactions. But I have been sieving my life and getting rid of both things and people who are toxic. It is a hard decision in some respects but a very important exercise. No one should go through life without doing this exercise every now and again.

As suspected it will take a little time to get the ‘toxic waste’ and residue out. This is similar to another emotional evaluation tool I created earlier this year called, “Emotional Inventory”.

I am not where I want to be and so I must make changes to my life in going looking forward to a new year. I am not perfect, on the contrary I am far from it. But God is faithful and He has promised to perfect that which concerns me. So as I am going through my healing, it is very important that I let others understand that.

The emotional scars we carry can do far more damage than a little cut on the finger or a cut on the forehead. So if you happen to pass by me, do not be alarmed, just remember to be quiet! - healing taking place

More than enough vs not enough

I thought I was sufficiently and adequately qualified to earn enough but it was just not enough, no never enough.

I figured with all my knowledge and experience I would be able to run my finances, but that was just not enough either.

I felt like I had a good handle on relating to others and had very good ingredients for creating and maintaining healthy and long lasting relationships, but again I was wrong, I just did not have enough.

I thought if I was nice, polite and kind to everyone then they in return would be nice, polite and kind to me. Well, that was the case most of the time, but still not enough.

I felt I had it within me to tackle my inadequacies, my fears and worries, YES! What I had was good enough to a point, after that it was just not good enough.

I knew my dreams and aspirations were many but in comparison to God’s perfect plan for me, my wishes were so small, less than enough.

I knew that the only way to please God was through faith, without which it is impossible to please Him. So I was able to believe and trust Him for the smaller things and surely he provided those but I thought God couldn’t handle the bigger stuff. I soon realized that once the problems grew bigger my faith and belief was not enough not even a mustard seed size.

So as I came to know Jesus more and more and trusted Him as my Lord and Saviour, I now turn over my finances to Him, my relations, my dreams and plans, my fears, worries and shortcomings for He is more than enough. My faith believes in the impossible and today I know there is absolutely nothing faith in an all powerful, all knowing God cannot achieve.

I am glad I have learnt that he is truly more than enough. In a world hard pressed for more of everything, I know a God who is everything and He is more than enough.

In Christ Alone

The Way Home

When you have lost your way and have become weary of life do you know your way home?
If you allow the struggles and challenges to overburden you, eventually you also will become stressed and despondent. Does this sound like you?

Depressed?

Perhaps so as well

Well you are not alone...There are so many institutions, societies, churches, families, government and individuals who have totally lost their way. Issues which once were dear to our hearts have become far less significant. Moral standards have decayed and many have strayed. We defend the wrong as though our inheritance depended on it. The original purpose for which some things were created has been abhorrently compromised and we continue to make silly excuses.

How many things around you are actually working the way they ought to? Most certainly it is not a perfect world, we are not even close. I am not for one minute purporting that all is lost. But when we have lost our way and need to find our way home, then it cannot be business as usual. Some things must change.

The Prodigal son is one such story of hope, forgiveness and love. He left all the convenience and comfort of his father's house to champion life on his own. He was careless in his spending and immature in accepting certain responsibilities. He lost his way. He soon became poor and wanting. His ‘friends’ with whom he squandered his money turned their backs on him. He had become destitute, disgraceful and overcome by shame. Nonetheless, He never allowed that to stop him. He never gave up.

Instead he got up and decided it was time to journey home. Not surprising, he knew the way home. He knew he could raise his current standard; perhaps also return to his rightful place. His father was waiting, hoping for his safe return. Upon his return, he wanted to negotiate the terms, bargaining to be a servant as he thought that he was no longer worthy to be called a son. But his forgiving and loving father opened his arms and his heart and received his son which was lost. He was restored to his rightful place, a son.

When we have lost our way home, it puts us in a place where we can experience the power of love and forgiveness. It gives us an opportunity to make a new story of hope. Don’t give up even if it seems like all around is shattering. There is a way home; regardless of the facts facing you. There is hope. There is a way, you too can find your way home.

The story is really about the forgiving father. In a similar way our Heavenly Father loves and forgives us once we are willing to come home. You too should love and forgive others so God's best can be done in their lives and also in yours.

Have a good walk today.

You shouldn’t get upset today

Today someone is going to say or do something to make you upset.
My advice is that you plan ahead how you will respond. As difficult though it may seem, if we dwell on a thought long enough and hard enough it will eventually dictate how we act. These actions will over time become habits and these habits will become our way of life.

I am now more than ever convinced that there are some folks who derive pleasure from being miserable and causing misery for others. How is that? I really don’t understand. There is however a saying that misery loves misery.

If you are like me, then you like to be happy and you like it when others are happy. Let us therefore dwell on the good. Deal firmly with the negatives, but do not dwell on them. Whatever you dwell on you also magnify and that way it always appear bigger than it really is.

Thinking About You

There are some people that we think about every once in a while, some occasionally and others some times. But there are those we think about all the time, they are just always on our mind. You are one such person.

Living Your Dreams

We all aim to finally live our dreams. We all had our dreams as children; Things that we held dear to our hearts. Is it that with the passing of time our dreams are less important or is that with the reality of life our dreams seem less practical?

Healing in a mother’s kiss

I recall how many times as a little boy I fell on the ground and bruised my knees or my hands. The screams of pain would then summon the attention of both my parents and siblings. My mother would then pick me up and after offering words of comfort such as, “hush my baby”
“What happened to my baby?”
“Never mind”

She would take me in her arms and carefully examined the injury, then without offering any other form of relief she would ask where was hurting and much to my pleasure then kiss the spot with her lips.

Wow! This action had the tremendous power of soothing what ails me. The pain was still there and the bruise was quite evident, but just to know my mother took the time to offer her love and care in time of pain made a world of difference.

Today I often wonder just how badly children are affected when they are bred without this type of love, care and nurturing. Is it that they will become callous and cold? I wonder?

I can speak of a mother’s healing touch and kiss, but above all I pray for those who badly need it.

10 Things that make me smile

Seeing my little two-month old son smiling

Hearing the pattering of the raindrops on the top of the roof just when I am about ready to go to bed

Whenever my eyes make four with a friend who is close by in the same room

When I walk through the door at home and my wife offers me a cold beverage

Meeting people

Remember a joke from last week or even yesterday

The sound of little children at play

A beautiful sunset or sunrise

Witnessing someone doing a kind gesture to another, such as helping an elderly lady to cross the street.

Just to think that God really loves me

Can you think of ten things which make you smile?

Let no one seek his own good, but that of his neighbor

If you have ever felt sad because you believed you should have been a little more appreciated for your hard work and efforts, then this is for you. Today I sat down at my desk feeling rather hurt over the fact that I was being taken for granted in all sphere of my life. I didn’t cry, but I was almost there.

I have finally found out what is my ghost, the feeling of being used and unappreciated.

I use to be giving without grudging, helping without complaining and loving without wanting. I recall several years ago I would hear comments such as, “You are too willing and giving”. “You are fattening the chicken for the mongoose,” and so forth.
My thinking and Christian ideals were being infiltrated by others who were either abused or hurt in the past while they gave themselves to others or a cause and so they believe I should put up a wall too; suggesting again and again that I should restrain my giving and put more of self in my living.

The truth is though; we all like to feel rewarded for our efforts and accomplishments. This may be part of the reason why I take time out to celebrate once I have achieved a milestone in my life. I know there are several other reasons why we should pause and celebrate our accomplishments. But by doing it myself I relinquish the desire of having others shower me with appreciation.

Furthermore, I am deeply encouraged by the passage of scripture in the bible which says, “Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.” – Ecclesiastes. 9:10

Part of the greed and selfishness that have taken over the world is that we no longer hold some of these essential life style practices close to our hearts. When I was growing up, regardless of whether you were a Christian or not, the fear of God was evident. We gave with no strings attached and our neighbor’s joy was our own.

So I felt bad for a good portion of the time until I saw the title verse in an email a friend had sent me earlier this week. “Let no one seek his own good, but that of his neighbor”. – 1 Corinthians 10: 24

There are some of us who require the appreciation of others to go on. It is our engine to keep us going. Then there are those who are very unkind and would use you at every opportunity without ever expressing a heart of gratitude. They too must adhere to these wise words of guidance from Paul.

Finally here is something that I have held dear to my heart and I guess it is time to renew its purpose in my life:

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;

Charting a Different Path

Sometimes getting lost is the only way some of us will ever try a new path.
Copy right (c) 2008. J.D. Gordon. All rights reserved

The Birth of a New Dawn

Today births the dawn of a new day, filled with mystery and wide ranging bandwidths of endless possibilities. Today gives us a chance to change the returns we reap from tomorrow. These twenty-four hours give us whatever we are willing to take from it. It is a new day, having traveled a long way; we still can hope for yet a better day.

Yes we can.

Copy right (c) 2008 J.D. Gordon. All rights reserved

You made my day

When someone has said or done something special which makes you feel happy and cause your day to be even more exciting and special, then you know you have had one of those ‘You made my day’ experiences.

Regardless of who you are, we all look forward to those encounters that give us the Oh my gosh! gut feeling.

Be it is a kind word, a caring gesture or a promise, we like to receive praise or be appreciated.
Quite often it is when the compliment seems least deserved that it is most needed and greatly appreciated.

The thrilling exhilarating joy of knowing that someone took the time to highlight something about you which others never even cared to notice or mention; some thing which makes you scream, laugh or even shed a tear. Those are special moments in our lives, worthy of note.

Your spirit is lifted and the entire you is elevated in those special but rare occasions.

I want to live for those moments and I am sure you find great delight from those experiences too. Everyday presents an opportunity for us to do just that.
Sometimes you will have to look for those hidden opportunities to make someone’s day.

In an atmosphere of so many negatives, we could use some more positive thinking, a lot more positive talking and well doing.

http://www.spiritisup.com/thankyou.html

When you say sorry

When you say sorry, mean it
When you tell me to hush
Don’t laugh at my face all flushed

When you say sorry, mean it
It could save you your life
Save you from a punch or from being hit

A man once said it,
It saved him his wife
It may even prevent a quarrel or strive

When you say sorry, mean it
An apology is a powerful thing
No wonder it stresses us when it is wanting

Conscience-stricken,
An apology spoken, sang
Or written

Soul searching
Penitent
A sorry won’t cost a cent

Mend your relationships
And feast of its health benefits
A good character trait to keep in your kit

Say sorry and mean it

You are affecting me

“You are affecting me!” he blurted at ATM, his good friend from as far back as they can remember ever being in each other’s lives.

He has now realized that she not only inspires good thoughts and emotions but also take him through a plateau of distressing experiences.

I have been thinking about it. In actual fact those to whom we have no attachment whatsoever very rarely affect us. If we are affected it is because we are usually touched by a sad story or a happy one. We grieve because the thought of something bad happening to someone that is dear and near to us drives us to tears.

But I have also learnt a woman has the ability to affect men by their moodiness and vice a versa. I once shared a similar discussion with a friend who told me that this ‘moodiness’ or ‘affecting mechanism’ is a tool used by the female to control the males.
I wonder just how true that is.

Does anyone have the answer to this question?
Why would a female be upset at her partner then when he tries to talk with her, she avoids him, but then she really wants him to say the first word and wish that when she pretends not to be interested that he would continue his pursuit?

When my wife was pregnant I was told by a few friends that her fluctuating hormone levels will make her more susceptible to moodiness. To which I responded, that means she has been pregnant for some time now.

Must we men accept that it is a woman’s way of life to be moody?
Not withstanding there are men who behave just the same way.
The further emotionally you are detached then the less likelihood of any moodiness affecting you. Those who hurt us the most are those to whom we are attached emotionally. Movie makers use this ever important emotionally psychology technique in making their movie effective.

Take for example the movie, “Charlotte’s web”. Everyday across the world spiders are killed and nobody even dear to notice, yet when this spider died in the movie, viewers were brought to tears; the emotional connection drove persons to ill feelings from just witnessing the death of a spider.

If you are a male reader, more than likely you have been affected by this ‘moodiness’ at some point in your life. If you are a female reader, please do not take offense to this blog but we are on a quest to discover women. As impossible though it may seem, let it not be said that we men never tried.

I need you just as much as you need me

I need you

Just yesterday I said something that offended you or caused you pain.

I really had no intention of harming you.

It may have been my tone, my choice of words or just the fact that I was silent.

Eventhough we disagreed, we dont have to fight about it.

Whatever it was, I need you to tell me in a loving way specifically what I have done so I can make wrongs right. I love you too much to allow a few words to stand between us.

The bible tells us this is how we ought to solve our differences, at least the first step. Many distructive falmes could have been avoided with just this simple first step of confession and forgiveness. I must be patient with you as you are with me.

Furthermore, words are sometimes considered more precious when one party has gone to a place where they cannot hear anymore. Don’t wait.

Today I need you to tell me what I have done wrong and how I can make it right. We both have the privilege of NOW, the only time we are really sure of.

We don’t know about tomorrow…So if I hurt you, I am sorry, but I need you.

BEAUTY

Beauty cannot be contained in a word or a phrase
Beauty is ripened perfection
A touch of class and a class which touches all of us
Beauty of a child
Beauty of nature
Beauty of human beings
It tugs at our emotions core and stimulates
Our mind of intellect and satiate our heart

Beauty is often shaded by
Greed, prejudice, bitterness, hatred and unforgiveness
Rid yourselves of these and you will be amazed at the
Extent of beauty which surrounds you
Beauty you never knew was there all this time

Myself asked myself
Does the blind see beauty?
The response came…”Surely”
For there is beauty of the eyes and beauty of the mind
Some things only appear beautiful with the right attitude
A changed mind set and everything suddenly looks new

If there were no beauty there may never be appreciation
Appreciation for what brings delight to the eyes and to the mind
Be an element of appreciation, admiration or appeal

But there is yet another aspect of beauty
For at times we predetermine in our minds what someone or something
Ought to look like, but then comes the reality, the truth.
When the beauty of the eyes meets the beauty of the mind
Then there must be some reconciling to close the gap

My beauty could be your disgust
And your beauty could be my annoyance
Beauty can be charming or terrifying
Beauty separates us and causes us to measure against each other
Beauty brings us together

Of all the things I have learnt about beauty.
The beauty of it all is that we are all beautiful in countless ways.

Owe no one anything

Have you ever wondered why the apostle Paul made the following statement?

"Owe no man anything, but to love one another,
for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law."
-Romans 13:8

Here is a biblical instruction that we can all see the benefits right away and I am not just talking about the fact that we would be fulfilling the law…check this out

There are so many people around us who are in need of love and it truly is comforting to know that if you are lacking then you can go and get from your neighbor who actually 'owes' you.

I like the idea of the word 'owe' for then the giver is obligated to fulfill their 'love-debt'

There are many days when you and I run short on love and could really use a withdrawal...well our neighbor owes us love, so we can ask for what is owed to us. It is our due.

We also are in a financial climate where a lot of us owe huge amounts of money and oh we wish we could just settle our due. Once we have settled our obligation, we are free and we can exhale.

This is so beautiful. If we all were to abide by this righteous instruction, giving our neighbor the love that is due to them, can you then imagine the type of world we would create?

Someone may also say the only problem with this is that most people I know are ‘love-bankrupt’.

That is true, but the source of love, GOD, controls the International Reserves and word is out that he allows withdrawals at interest free rates.

In that case we all can happily pay our due.

Couples who are too far apart

I was listening to a radio programme yesterday afternoon on my way to conduct a rehearsal session in Kingston. When this man called in to the family counselor to explain how frustrating his family life was becoming. He said that his wife had little or no regard for all the rules they had laid down for their seven year old son. He went on to further explain that whenever he commented, he would be greeted with disrespect or even avoided for days. He explained several other disheartening experiences in public places and was now contemplating leaving so she could do whatever she wants, whenever she wants.

In a love relationship it is very important that partners are connected, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually as well as share similar interest; shared goals that they can both work towards. You would be so surprise how many people go out in search of a partner without taking into consideration some of these vital ingredients to mix.

The further apart a couple is from each other, the more conflicts they will have. The gap which exists isn’t necessarily caused by poor communication. It could be as a result of any of the three connecting areas mentioned above or other interests or even past experiences.
Case in point, there are some married couples who do struggle with issues which they themselves did not create. Their marriage is threatened by the absence of fundamental principles that were also missing during their growing up years.

All relationships have conflicts of some sort, however the further a part they are, the deeper ‘the abyss of disagreement.’ It is just the way life is. The closer I am to GOD, the more I will want to please him, the more I understand what he likes and want. The more I understand the people around me the better I am able to deal with each individual. But all this must be embodied in a WILLINGNESS to make it work.

In the case of the husband mentioned at the start. Perhaps his wife was always disrespectful to her father or maybe there was no father figure in her life at all, no real man. It therefore becomes even more difficult for her to deal with her very own husband. The Counselor was apt in making the distinction that this was not a parenting issue but a marriage issue.

Life can be like that at times, where a problem has a tendency to create many other off-shoots, thus having a spiral effect. Misery loves misery they say.
It will therefore take wisdom and patience to decipher what the real problem. Quite often this is the case after the person has already exploded.

I have got my share of issues in dealing with others, you’ve got yours. Some relationship issues remain despite the vast improvement in knowledge and advancement in technology. We have just not been able to master the art of dealing with people. People must begin to see the need to act responsible. If we plant seeds of discord, then we will certainly reap the fruits of disharmony, disunity and relationship woes. Is it any wonder than those who live the best life are those who give the most and expect the least? Certainly not, if I learn to serve without servitude, then I have more influence both over my own life and those whom I serve. If we can’t get along it could mean that we are too far a part, come a little closer.