There was so much happening…
Too much that I had little or no control over…
“Make it stop! Make them go away!” I shouted repeatedly…
But as each sun rose then set, it grew worse and worse…
I started bottling it all up…
Fighting it on the inside…
Hurting myself more and more…
Once I thought I would quit…
Twice I lifted my eyes and started to do it…
I internalized it, I criticized it, I hated it…
But as each sun rose then set, it grew worse and worse…
The system, the people and the way things were designed…
They all seemed to have been working against me on over time…
They had disrupted my reasoning and messed up my mind…
I felt my heart at a snail's pace bleeding as the pain grew stronger…
“Oh God, I just can’t take this any longer!”…
“Make it stop! Make them go away!” I shouted repeatedly…
Then one day it all hit me so hard…
My head felt like it was about to explode…
My heart burned from pepper mixed with fire…
Then slowly down my cheeks the teardrops came…
No longer could I bear the anguish and the pain…
As I sat down to write this, down came the tears again…
I cried and I cried as healing tears washed my eyes…
Then I cried some more so my heart could see life around me a bit clearer…
Now that I have cried, today I stand stronger, wiser, brighter and happier…
I have dried my eyes, I have had my sad moments, so when you see me smile, let me go by…
I know why I smile and I know why I laugh, I also know why I cried…
