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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Why are you not happy?


If you were to reflect on your life five or ten years ago, what were some of things you wanted to have? Were there some things you believed would make you feel accomplished and happy?
Then look at your life today. How many of those things you sincerely desired and worked long and hard at do you possess today?
If you accomplished seven or nine out of the ten things that you wanted, why are you still not happy today?

If you believed those things would have brought you happiness and suddenly realize that they did not what does that mean. Is it that you thought wrong or is it that you are too busy looking at those not yet achieved while forgetting to be grateful for the ones you have.

Are your standards so high that even though you have 51% of what you wanted it is driving you up the walls that 49% is missing?

Happiness is defined as a state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.

Albert Camus the Algerian-born French Author said:
“All men have sweetness in their life. That is what helps them go on. It is towards that they turn when they feel too worn out.”

Here is a little exercise I find very useful:

Firstly, if you were to make a list of things that you are not contented with, how many things could you come up with? What would be the nature of things on your list? These could range from things about your own life to things in your surrounding of which you have little or no control. Your list could include things that make you feel sad, depressed and miserable or tend to cast a shadow over your daily encounters.

Then on that list of things you prepared, place a rating on each item with No. 1 being assigned to that thing which is most valuable and of most importance to you.

Finally make another list, this time with things you are contended with; things which form a part of the definition of happiness given above. Your list must include the things that bring cheerfulness to your heart, leaves you smiling or raise your emotions to a higher level.

Similarly, on that second list of things you prepared, place a rating on each item with No. 1 being assigned to that thing which is most valuable and of most importance to you.
These two lists will help you to decide whether you have more things to be happier about or not.


Some persons may even argue that things, stuff and persons will never be able to bring you happiness. It is a choice you have to make. Your inner-self must decide whether it will remain happy despite your conflicts and turmoil.

It is also a fact that one man has a shirt and he is not happy while another man never owns a shirt yet he is happy.

The Habits of unhappy people:
1. In my experience I have found that most unhappy people are not involved in anything apart from the routine of life. They are not a part of a club, religious group or society.

2. They are usually not passionate about anything.

3. They are loners, not having close friends or family with whom they frequently interact.

4. They usually FOCUS on the negative, not spending much time or energy to appreciate the successes and positives.

5. Not having something to work towards that they can one day celebrate the success of when it is achieved or accomplished.

Some people also find happiness from making others lives unhappy. But that is not what this is about.

Fun people are fun to be around as they radiate an aura that those around them always catch, even for a moment.

For the Christians, Joy is considered to be a deeper level of happiness and is a pre-requisite as the bible says in Psalms 32:11
“Be glad in the LORD, and rejoice, ye righteous: and shout for joy, all ye that are upright in heart.”

In my own belief, Joy is from within, consider a young baby who so joyful. There is absolutely nothing to provoke that level of joy we see yet that young child emits so much joy and in such a remarkable way that everyone around latches on to it. A child knows true happiness and pure joy.

Your happiness and joy are far too important to leave it to chance. Make an effort to secure and preserve your happiness and rejoice always.

Because happiness is everything but blue, you should find greater happiness not from what hasn’t been done, rather from what you do.