Couples who are too far apart

I was listening to a radio programme yesterday afternoon on my way to conduct a rehearsal session in Kingston. When this man called in to the family counselor to explain how frustrating his family life was becoming. He said that his wife had little or no regard for all the rules they had laid down for their seven year old son. He went on to further explain that whenever he commented, he would be greeted with disrespect or even avoided for days. He explained several other disheartening experiences in public places and was now contemplating leaving so she could do whatever she wants, whenever she wants.

In a love relationship it is very important that partners are connected, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually as well as share similar interest; shared goals that they can both work towards. You would be so surprise how many people go out in search of a partner without taking into consideration some of these vital ingredients to mix.

The further apart a couple is from each other, the more conflicts they will have. The gap which exists isn’t necessarily caused by poor communication. It could be as a result of any of the three connecting areas mentioned above or other interests or even past experiences.
Case in point, there are some married couples who do struggle with issues which they themselves did not create. Their marriage is threatened by the absence of fundamental principles that were also missing during their growing up years.

All relationships have conflicts of some sort, however the further a part they are, the deeper ‘the abyss of disagreement.’ It is just the way life is. The closer I am to GOD, the more I will want to please him, the more I understand what he likes and want. The more I understand the people around me the better I am able to deal with each individual. But all this must be embodied in a WILLINGNESS to make it work.

In the case of the husband mentioned at the start. Perhaps his wife was always disrespectful to her father or maybe there was no father figure in her life at all, no real man. It therefore becomes even more difficult for her to deal with her very own husband. The Counselor was apt in making the distinction that this was not a parenting issue but a marriage issue.

Life can be like that at times, where a problem has a tendency to create many other off-shoots, thus having a spiral effect. Misery loves misery they say.
It will therefore take wisdom and patience to decipher what the real problem. Quite often this is the case after the person has already exploded.

I have got my share of issues in dealing with others, you’ve got yours. Some relationship issues remain despite the vast improvement in knowledge and advancement in technology. We have just not been able to master the art of dealing with people. People must begin to see the need to act responsible. If we plant seeds of discord, then we will certainly reap the fruits of disharmony, disunity and relationship woes. Is it any wonder than those who live the best life are those who give the most and expect the least? Certainly not, if I learn to serve without servitude, then I have more influence both over my own life and those whom I serve. If we can’t get along it could mean that we are too far a part, come a little closer.

Ripe Bananas are always sweet

When you are ripe and have come to full term with whatever it is that you need to mature in, it is then and only then that you will take on new sweetness, new skin and new purpose. The maturing process takes you on a natural path which when you have completed it, you bring sweetness to those around you.

Copy right (c) 2008 J.D. Gordon . All rights reserved

You are deserving of love

It doesn’t matter who you are, what you’ve done or where you’ve been.
You are deserving of love. Have you ever noticed that regardless of how bad we think someone is, they are always still able to find someone who loves them?
That’s a fact.

You are both lovable and loved. Love is the answer to many problems which science and technology, law, business and economics will never solve. Some of the meanness people at times are those who are shouting and ranting just to be included in our love net. The sooner we recognise this then the quicker they will be delivered from their life of spitefulness.

We all have a propensity to seek attention throughout our life. Usually this is attention we think we need to make it. Attention we consider essential to our survival. Perhaps they are, perhaps they aren’t. We are all deserving of love, but we do not at all deserve to be loved by any and everyone. Some people’s ‘love’ is worth running away from while others are worth running to.

You are deserving of love regardless of who you are.

Being Chased by a dog

Greatness is ahead...Could it be that through all my frustrations, my disappointments and struggles, what I thought was a dog chasing me is actually me being chased into my destiny?

Curiosity

How much of what you do on a daily basis are done out of curiosity?

Humans and animals are species that are driven by curiosity.

Our curiosity usually takes us on a journey of desires:

1. A desire to know or learn.
2. A desire to know about people or things that do not concern one; nosiness.
3. An object that arouses interest, as by being novel or extraordinary.


There are many who seek answers and are curious. Scientist doing a research, lawyers and detectives investigating, boys with girls, parent and child and the list go on and on.

At what point is your curiosity antennae most alert?
Curiosity is like a never quenching thirst, which is rarely satisfied.

Frank Moore said:
“Clever people seem not to feel the natural pleasure of bewilderment, and are always answering questions when the chief relish of a life is to go on asking them.”

Even though we often hear that Jamaicans are ‘faase’, i.e. nosy;
Not every one of us enjoys sticking our nose in other people business.

Curiosity isn’t a bad thing. In fact we discover great joys through our curiosity.
I am curious about people, places, things, philosophy, God, music and life.
I am curious to know, what is it that you are curious about?

Romantic Music

A Hero's Plight

Today we will celebrate our National Heroes throughout the island of Jamaica.

Our heroes are those who break the law, the rule and the standards while making way for bigger, better laws, rules and standards. They serve a greater purpose and a higher calling.

Mind weaving - Cogitation

Sometimes I wish I could just…

Especially since I desire it so much

So maybe I ought to…

But I have to always keep my thoughts…

I cannot allow my mouth to just…

But then I remember I must not…

Only this minute I think I ought to have…

Why can’t I just...

No one really cares about me so I should just…

The offer is good but I ought to perhaps…

Did I make the right choice?

What if what if were to happen?

I don’t want a repeat so perchance I should…

When the self speaks to the self…

When your mind looks into your mind…

The World's Greatest Need

The World's Greatest Need By C. Austin Miles

A little more kindness and a little less greed;

A little more giving and a little less need;

A little more smile and a little less frown;

A little less kicking a man when he's down;

A little more "we" and a little less "I";

A little more laughs and a little less cry;

A little more flowers on the pathway of life;

And fewer on graves at the end of the strife.

Facing my world alone

Oftentimes I feel like an island in the sea
Especially when the storm waves are high
And there is no bright cloud in the sky.

We struggle with issues, prejudice, insecurities and fears.
We feel our friends are only people who we call friends
Whenever they have needs we care enough to meet.

There will always come a point in our lives
When we must face our world alone,
It happens to me, it happens to you too
So, we must find inner strength and the will

The will to accept and resist
The wisdom to know when to yield and when to persist
The strength to overcome our strength’s weakness

Find ways to quicken and awake our spirit’s fire
For in the garden of Gethsemane it could be horrific
We must be strong, be confident and be caring and eternally forgiving

What gets you excited?

What gets your heart pumping and your adrenaline running?
Is it gardening, love, sex, money?

I find that I am not excited by the average exciters as my peers such as fast car, fancy clothing and name brands. I find that what really excites me are the smaller things in life. The kinds that are often times overlooked.

I am excited by good, skillfully played music; Music which gives life, anointed music.

I am moved by nature, a good sunset or breath taking sunrise.

I love knowledge and profound words

I am excited by love and friendship; meeting people and learning about their life.

I am also excited about traveling.

I am excited about God and 'God-name brands'.

Everyone should find something to do that they love; something which is non-threatening and pure.

I find that those who have enough things in their life to be excited about are among the happiest and most fulfilled people in the world.

What excites you?
What are you passionate about?

Do you need some yellow in your life?

Yellow symbolizes: wisdom, joy, happiness, intellectual energy

Yellow is full of creative and intellectual energy. Clean light yellow clears the mind, making it active and alert.

Put some yellow in your life when you want:
· clarity for decision-making
· relief from 'burnout', panic, nervousness, exhaustion
· sharper memory and concentration skills
· protection from lethargy and depression during dull weather

Temptations

Temptations are banging at my door. I want it to remain that way, cause if I least entertain it then it becomes an opportunity, and opportunities knock. Like many others, I am more likely to respond favorably to knocking than banging.

Copy right (c) 2008 J.D. Gordon. All rights reserved

No sooner than...

No sooner than I realized that I was standing in the way of my own success
No sooner I succeeded

~~~~

No sooner than I learnt that those who are impatient needs my patience the most
No sooner I became more patient with others

~~~~

No sooner than I quit making excuses for why some things just don’t work
No sooner I started resolving problems once thought ‘impossible’

~~~~

No sooner than I appreciated that whatever we need we will find it difficult to give
No sooner I tapped into a higher dimension of satisfaction by giving what I needed

~~~~

No sooner than I learnt that the best leaders are the best servants
No sooner I led others to discovering greater purpose and meaning

~~~~~

No sooner than I acknowledged my Heavenly Father is not uncaring towards my needs
No sooner I laid my worries down, while on my knees

~~~~

No sooner than I believed it could work
No sooner did it happened

~~~~

Dare to think aloud

Those who write with all their might
Displaying cunning, cogent insight
Prolific words which reveals the heart, the soul
And everything on which they hold

We choose to write,
To think audibly and bring to light
We have taken the great leap
To attain new heights and explore the deep

Dare to think aloud
Be brave, going against your cloud
Inscribing and carving
What others have in hiding

Creative imagery,
Wild literacy
Stand out amongst the crowd
Dare to WOL (write out loud)
Thinking allowed, dare to think aloud

People, problem & solution

I have an attitude where I am more solution oriented than problem hunting. I try not to dwell on the bad or wrong while allowing room for more bad to be done. I am amazed at what is happening around me with our Government and people.

The situation is this. We are having some serious crisis facing us as a nation and rather than persons lending their voice to help with a plausible solution, most persons are using their energy to express what they don’t agree with, declare what will not work and most of them have no alternate recommendations. How sad…

I am amazed that even with so many learnt men and women; they have still not been able to pass this hurdle.
Wisdom really does come from God. Some people just love to talk, but they will never offer a hand to help someone in need or even to make a suggestion to someone who is going astray and desperately need to find their way.

We need more people who are more determined to fix problems than to create new ones. Take a look at the passion and determination that those who are involve in evil have. They got the extreme to perform their wicked acts. But, imagine what our lives would be like if we all used our knowledge, abilities, wisdom and resources for the good and better of us all rather than serving individual agendas. What a world that would be.

The selfish side of HELP

When we offer to help someone, is it ok to have a condition attached?
“I will do it for you, if you do this for me in return”
Would that constitute selfish help?

If in offering help I place more emphasis on my interest over and above a desire to help another and to see the other person benefit, is that selfish help?

I have noticed that some people only do things if it benefits them some way or another. There are some who believe nothing is actually wrong with this and it is natural for us to do what is in our best interest.

What if your conditional help is to benefit the person even more? For example, let us say I give some money to support a project, but as a condition, the project coordinators must provide me with weekly reports on the progress of the project. This would clearly not be the selfish side of help. So even if I volunteer, it is ok to make ‘certain’ demands? As to what may make up those demands is another matter.

I still ask the question, when, therefore is help selfish?
I believe the act is its reward.
I am reminded by Romans 12:13 which say, “When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.
Some people make demands when they help, is this because they believe that the one who help, lose?

Whatever your belief, remember we are all creators and we create the world we live in.

My friendship story

As a child, I had the regrettable experience of losing most of my friends due to migration. By the time I had reached age 12 most of the children I knew from our Sunday school and our community had gone overseas as their families went in pursuit of a better life.

This resulted in me becoming a little withdrawn and during my early teenage years felt even more unloved and uncared for. In those days, communication means were not as easily accessible as they are today. So we weren’t able to keep in touch.

I nevertheless was compensated for it at primary school. In Primary school, I had a lot of friends and since I was liked by one of the most beautiful girls in the entire school, I had become very popular. Everyday, religiously, she had an entourage of girls with her whenever she went for her lunch break. She would wait for me at break for us to go have lunch together. Naturally, there would be a group of boys since there were so many girls

These early interactive experiences taught me the importance of socializing and gave me the self confidence needed to be more people oriented.
My life was further influenced by my female friend, Kahiefa, who became my best friend at about age 13. We had been friends since age 9 when we use to sing together on a children’s choir at a near by church.

Today she still remains one of my long time friends along with a few others now residing in USA, England and Canada. The most valuable of lesson and the most cherished about friends, is the fact that we all need to have them, even one. Warm friendships, mutual acquaintances and a feeling that we belong, all add value to living.

Pause, don't stop

As we go through life we have varied experiences; some are frightening and others lead us into exhilarating joy. When you go through your moments of loss or death, take time out to grieve. Cry if you must and reflect on it all, the good and somber times. Allow room for your wisdom to grow from each and every encounter.

When you go through your moments of success and achievement, take time out to celebrate. Laugh, dance and be merry; there is nothing wrong with basking in the rewards of your efforts for a while.

Whatever you face, don't stop there. There are greater things to achieve and more fulfilling things to do. There is more purpose to your life and more great moments to experience. If you stop, you may never experience the better part of your life. Pause, don't stop.

Some experiences may be harsher than others. Don’t stop loving because someone broke your heart. Don’t stop giving because others don’t appreciate all you do. Don’t stop forgiving even though you have been hurt and disappointed. Pause, don’t stop.

These moments of ‘pausing’ will be the most crucial and profound times in your life. If you seek clarity and meaning, the lessons are always greater than you had ever imagined them to be. Pause, don't stop.

Negative Motivations

As a child I was taunted by some of my older siblings. Being number eight of nine, I was pressured in more than one ways to perform. Some times I was called negative names by a brother who is an expert on giving people names.

I have overcome those hurdles but sometimes I wonder how much these early childhood experiences impact on my life today. Feelings of inadequacy, loneliness and unworthiness use to plague me. As a result of my faith in Jesus, I have overcome these, but I know there are many families who struggle with issues like mine.

These negative motivations drove me to make something of my life. With a deep and burning desire to fit in, I have more than 'fit it’; I have created my own mold, model and designs for others to copy. Learning to turn our negative situations into positives is a remarkable gift. I believe now with all my heart that I am destined for greatness.